“I’m not saying there isn’t the possibility of ‘God’, but I want PROOF…” This is a comment that was posted in response to a blog post by a self-proclaimed atheist. When I read that comment, my first thought was “Sure, who doesn’t?” As I have mentioned, I came to God later in life and, I believe as a result, I struggle tremendously with doubt. My daughter-in-law was raised in a Mennonite community and says she cannot remember a time when she did not believe. She tells me I’m lucky because I don’t take my faith for granted. Still, I long for the peace that I imagine must come from never having doubted.
Sometimes I think about the Apostles. They looked into his earthly face of God almost daily and after three years still did not know who they were looking at. At one point, Philip looked Him in the face and said, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.” (John 14:8) I can imagine Jesus staring back at him in amazement and then shaking His head. He answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? (John 14:9) So, I think maybe it is not an easy thing to recognize God, especially later in life.
In another blog post, I read a comment in which an individual described praying a prayer of redemption as “an experiment” to see if “anything would happen.” I remember distinctly when I prayed a prayer of redemption and believe me, something happened. I was trying to get through A Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. Everyone was reading it at that time and I was having a second go at it. The first time I put it down because I just didn’t find it very inspiring or insightful. This time I made it a little further into it and came across a prayer of redemption the author had included. I prayed it. I prayed it earnestly, after all I was reading Mr. Warren’s book seeking answers. Whatever happened after that is hard to describe and I feel like a ‘crazy church lady’ just writing about it. Suffice it to say that my life is almost unrecognizable to me now.
At any rate, the point I’m try to make is this: the proof of God’s existence is not something we can show to someone else. It’s not a thing they can look at or study and say ‘Oh, yeah, now I understand. Of course God must exist. That proves it.’ No, we have to look for that proof ourselves. God seeks a heart that seeks Him. We cannot just wait for some ‘proof’ to be shoved under our noses because even if it was, we wouldn’t recognize it. But if we look for it, then we will find it.